Questions to Ask a Potential Therapist (Before You Commit to Anything)

By Dan Zomerlei, PhD, LMFT | Alliance Counseling Group

Most people walk into a first therapy appointment the way they walk into a job interview — nervous, trying to make a good impression, hoping to answer everything correctly. It usually takes them a while to realize: they’re also the one doing the hiring.

A consultation call or first session is a two-way evaluation. You’re not just there to be assessed — you’re there to assess. And most people never ask a single question.

I get it. It can feel presumptuous. Like you’re being demanding in a space where you’re supposed to show up humbly. But here’s what I want you to know: a therapist who is put off by reasonable, thoughtful questions about their work is actually giving you very useful information right there in that moment.

Good therapists welcome this. Every time. Without defensiveness.

The questions worth asking

I’m going to give you the actual questions I’d want a potential client to ask me — because these are the ones that lead to the right match faster, and they cut through the small talk that fills a lot of consultation calls.

“What’s your primary approach, and why do you work that way?”

This is the most important question on the list, and most people never ask it. Therapists are trained in genuinely different methods — cognitive behavioral therapy, emotionally focused therapy, EMDR, psychodynamic approaches, ACT, and more — and most work primarily from one lens, whether or not they name it. You don’t need to understand every acronym. You need to know whether their explanation makes sense to you, whether they can explain why they work the way they do, and whether the approach sounds like a reasonable fit for what you’re bringing in.

If they can’t articulate their approach in plain language, that’s information too.

“What experience do you have with [my specific situation]?”

This one matters more than it sounds like it does. There’s a real difference between a therapist who has worked with dozens of couples navigating the aftermath of betrayal and one who “works with couples.” There’s a real difference between a therapist who specializes in adolescent anxiety and one who is “comfortable with teenagers.” Specificity here is fair to ask for. The answer doesn’t have to be perfect — but it should be honest.

“How will we know if this is working?”

This question catches a lot of therapists off guard, and I think that’s worth paying attention to. A thoughtful clinician will talk about establishing some shared sense of what you’re working toward, checking in regularly about how the work is landing, and being genuinely willing to adjust if something isn’t clicking. A vague answer — “you’ll just feel better over time” — is a fair question getting an unfair response.

“What does a typical session look like with you?”

Some therapists are highly structured — specific agenda, work between sessions, clear frameworks from week to week. Others are more exploratory, following the conversation wherever it goes. Neither is universally better. But one might be significantly better for you, and you’re allowed to know which one you’re signing up for before five sessions in.

“What should I do if I feel like things aren’t working?”

Pay attention to this one. A good therapist will tell you clearly: bring it up, I want to know, it’s part of my job to respond to that rather than defend against it. This question also tells you, before you’ve invested months, whether this is a relationship where honesty is actually safe. That matters more than almost anything else about the work.

“Are you in-network with my insurance, and what do sessions cost?”

Not glamorous. Genuinely important. Therapy you can’t sustain financially isn’t good therapy — it’s a countdown. Ask early and get clarity.

A word about how you listen to the answers

Listen less for the “right” answer and more for how they answer. Are they defensive? Thoughtful? Curious about you? Do they seem like they’re running a script, or like they’re actually engaging with you as a specific person? Do you leave the conversation feeling more oriented — or more confused?

You’re allowed to talk to more than one therapist before committing. I’d actually encourage it for most people who aren’t in an acute crisis. Fifteen minutes on a consultation call now can save you months in a misaligned relationship later.

Finding a therapist in Michigan who will actually answer these questions

Most practices — ours included — offer a brief free consultation before a first session. That’s what it’s there for. Use it. Come with your questions written down if you need to. That’s not excessive. That’s smart.

At Alliance Counseling Group, we believe the right fit matters more than filling a slot. We serve clients across West Michigan — Grand Rapids, Holland, Grandville, Byron Center — and throughout Michigan via telehealth. Reach out and we’ll help you figure out whether we’re the right match. And if we’re not, we’ll tell you that too.